Going the distance
July 16, 2006
Posted in Uncategorized |
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Finality in the search for oneself is quixotic. Accepting that this search is a long string of lessons, impulses tended to and dreams hovering above attainable is in itself a draft, a pencil drawing of my own finish line.
Finding my own place, actually looking for an identity. No, I have one. Trying to relate? Trying to identify? I don’t feel the need to. But I sometimes look in other people’s eyes to see if they identify with me. Do they see themselves in me? I have it the other way around don’t I?
It’s the same thing, just backwards.
I’m pushing through. I’m emerging from. What? Where? I forgot where the starting line was. Or it’s been following me around. So I start, every day. Is the finish getting further then? I have strained before to see it. But now I think it’s impossible to see it. Ever. Is there a finish line at all? Probably not. Not the one I’d like to see. The one that I know is there and exists I’ll reach just like every body else.
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I don’t think there is a finish line because we are always growing, searching and changing. I think the trick is accepting who we are at our core,so that the race doesn’t seem like it’s all uphill and we have 20lb packs on our backs.
Most people or talking monkeys as I like to call them, live out their lives completly oblivious, stuck in Plato’s cave and loving it, completly missing the allegorical part.
You, you walk towards the light, you pierce, you puncture the darkness to let in some light, you ask questions other than does this dress make me look fat?
The quest, the search, the practice, the working-towards, is it’s own reward.
And why can I only comment using my blogger ID?
I have heard so many times in the past and the current that its not the place you end up that matters but its how you get there. my question is how does one know the journey if one doesnt know the distination or whether or not they have gotten there.
And hello again
stephaine: I like the image. I’m done with the uphill thing I think. but still trying to get rid of the baggage.
jeliel: thankzzzen
true that the questioning has a gratifying feel to it.
spyder: !!!!!!!!!!! hello, hello, hello
I don’t think one can get there. because there doesn’t exist. there is no there, only a here. I want to go past the journey allegory. there has to be something else to define this quest. don’t you think?