An Unexamined Life…

J’étais perdue dans mes emails archivés. Hotmail, Yahoo, Gmail… Il y a des gens qui ramassent les bibelots, les vêtements, les cochonneries… Moi c’est les mails. Il y a quelques mois j’en ai deleté un peu plus de 1200. De et à la même personne. En un an. Des fois 25 par jours, back and [...]

I am so filled with life right now. No words could really do justice. It can get tiring to always look over hills and bumps. And also up from the well. I’ve looked down a few times, but right now, now as I type this, the horizon is so fucking clear and inviting, I’m still [...]

I don't even remember how I discovered blogs. Really, I have no recollection whatsoever. Only that I started mine very tentatively, a few entries here and there. And well, I guess the fire caught and it became an almost daily thing for me. It was never an obligation to write. I don't sit here wondering [...]

À Bizoune…  En vieillissant, y a plein de choses auxquelles on pense. Y a plein de choses qu'on a pas pensé. Y a plein de choses qu'on se reproche. Y a plein de choses qu'on voudrait changer. Mais… Y a une chose que je ne voudrais pas changer, et ça, C'est TOI. Je t'aime xxx  [...]

Je me suis rappelé il y a environ une heure d'un soir de déprime la semaine passée, où je me suis précipitée à la SAQ pour acheter une bouteille de Bailey's. Que j'ai mis dans l'armoire en arrivant à la maison. Et que j'avais oubliée. J'suis beyond le mal de coeur, la nausée étant une [...]

Obscured by Clouds started it's third rotation, just like the word dates. The dates are rotating too. Life and death cradled within 25 days. Every year, it comes back, every year, I am reminded. That life ends in death. It's a furious cycle, invading my day's rythm, my night's good intentions of bringing me dreams. [...]

Tonight I watched TV for 4 hours straight. Something I haven't done in months. Maybe even a year. Two CSI's (I got Spike tv for me, I love that channel. I know, I know! I get UFC whenever I feel like it, isn't that great?) The simpsons, South Park then I flipped between the news [...]

I would like to forget. Forget when, why.  Forget who I've become. The paths I've taken. But these paths, these choices are forever sculpted in my flesh. Not really a burden, as they bear no weight. Rather a basso-rilievo, a map drawn on crumpled paper. No way to forget. Only to look back and understand. [...]

Quand j'étais petite, mon monde c'était la musique, les pochettes de disques, les livres et les revues. Tout était à ma portée. Dans cette dernière catégorie, outre le Hara-Kiri (qui me terrifiait mais que je lisais tout de même de la première à la dernière page), le Mainmise est le magazine qui m'a le plus [...]

The obvious often eludes me. Trapped in my head. Trapped in my words. Buried under layers of dust that flew out of my whirlwinds to finally rest upon what makes sense. For real. What is obvious. Percieved responsabilities. Chris, from Inane thoughts and Insane ramblings, pointed me to the right direction from his comment on [...]

I'd watch the door to see her walk in every night. She usually came in on Tuesdays and Fridays. I would wait for her to take a seat, and then change my section with another girl to work in hers. The bingo hall seemed to come alive to me. I would walk to her and [...]

What's funnier? Steve Martin pretending to care on SNL or Johnny Knoxville shopping a taxidermist for his grand mother? Exactly. Watched Amadeus today, with the volume way up. What happend to Tom Hulce anyway? Right now Kenny Rogers is urging me to buy the Superstars of Country Collection, for the pleasure of listening to Ray [...]

There was something wrong that summer. She was drunk a lot, he was high a lot. Too many people were sleeping over. The music was always too loud. Someone made me drink a glass of Tia Maria with milk. We had a new car, a summer home, new furniture. Something wrong. We were three for [...]

I was leaning on the washing machine. The one next to my appartment, there for the tenants to use. I was leaning on it because it was shaking so bad I thought it would just go through the wall and end up in the kitchen. -Do you think it washes better when you hold it [...]

Je suis ici, ce soir, comme à tous les soirs, à me demander qu’est-ce que je fais? Qu’est-ce qui me fait peur, qu’est-ce qui me drive. Il faut que je trouve. Parce que j’ai besoin de réponses surtout. Rien de défini, rien de coulé dans le ciment, juste une direction. Je suis ici, ce soir, [...]