An Unexamined Life…

You would think that after eleven years I’d be over the worst of it. I would anyways. It’s some kind of freak phenomenon where I mourn in reverse. I was so strong when she died, I don’t think I cried that much after that day. And I have been able to recall, to share, without [...]

Certains trouvent peut-être le bilinguisme ici un peu déroutant, ou dérangeant… mais c’est comme ça dans ma tête. Parfois même en pleine phrase, ça change. Je vous évite une partie de chaos quand même. *** It’s not like we didn’t know this. Like we’ve never read it anywhere or didn’t feel it at some point [...]

I think I know why it doesn’t work for me. the [things]. I want it to be as messed up and confused as it is in my head, inside, deep in there where it doesn’t matter to anyone but me. where I know where every[thing] is, where I can pick up some[thing] I left in [...]

Je n’y pense plus. Ou si peu. Juste assez pour que ce soit facile à balayer de mon esprit, facile comme on dégage une mèche de cheveux qui obstrue la vue. **** I felt like talking to you the other day. Then I realized I can’t remember your phone number. Not that I would’ve called, [...]

A very long time ago, when I was all that (not!), Steve Faguy from The Gazette did a profile on An Unexamined Life… I was reading his post about getting a permanent job at the newspaper and through his memories I was reminded of that very special time in my life, that place I was [...]

there’s a life somewhere in there a past tense of life a life lived in albums there was a time when we could just tuck them away. the pictures. forget about them, their colors, their scent, their laughs. just stick them in plastic pages. never look at them again. easy to forget. lies! memories are [...]

got my head around what I do wrong. the things that I do that end up hurting me and no one else. the pains I go through just so that I don’t hurt others is one of them. what I can’t grasp is how one can hurt deliberately, knowing exactly what the actions, words or [...]

Once again. All changes saved. Words we see, we read, and do not think twice about. Saved. The changes were saved. Saved implies assimilated, accepted, approved of. Thought about. Considered and agreed upon. Saved. I can safely close this, as it is saved. There are no more words worth saving. Safely close this. Move on.

I was thinking thinking that I can do this as easily as it would be to sit and do nothing since it’s all in here. All in here but the thing is I have to let it come out. Obstructed funnel. So, I was thinking, one of these days, yes. Then one of these days [...]

je ne comprends pas trop comment pourquoi mais tout me tire me pousse et je veux partir me sauver vers ta vie me noyer dans ta vie n’importe où n’importe quoi sauf la mienne et comment ça pourrait être impossible comment il pourrait être trop tard alors qu’on a encore tant à vivre et tellement [...]

J’allais écrire que je n’ai plus, pas le temps, envie d’écrire. Mais soudainement, j’ai versé un peu de rhum dans le reste de mon 7 up, direct dans la canette, en me disant que c’est de la grosse bullshit. Enfin, non, oui, c’est tout vrai, mais le besoin… Ben c’est ça le problème. Le besoin [...]

I don’t know how it came about. It just did. One thing led to another. That kind of thing. The kind of thing that just happens, and when you talk about it, you want to say it was a coincidence, but no, that’s not the word you’re looking for. And since you don’t believe in [...]

Osti de retour de la mort. Départ en mini-panique de New York le vendredi en soirée, avec l’annonce d’évacuation et annulation des bus du samedi. Ride de nuit avec un arm-rest hoarder, des sièges en ciment et une tristesse frisant la peine d’amour. Je me suis arraché les yeux à tenter de déceler les lumières [...]

“I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” -HDT, Walden   “There was a little fuck you in my step, there [...]