With my birthday and Christmas coming up, L. told me that as a gift he will pay for some dental work. My front teeth are little bit crooked, not much, but it’s getting worst with time. I really didn’t think about it until my last visit to the dentist, when he asked me if was happy with the esthetics of my front teeth. I was a bit insulted and surprised. But it made it’s way. The strangest thing is, my dad has the same thing. Same teeth, same slant, same deviation. He’s older, so I kinda know what it will look like in the future. Scary.
But I was mostly surprised by L.’s offer to pay for it. I look a lot like my father, and he told me many years ago that it disturbed him for a while. Now I wonder you know? But never mind that. It’s a lot of money. I’m not comfortable with this. My friend tells me I’m just stupid and to book that dentist appointment already. She says I have to stop acting like I’m not deserving. She might have a point, but I’m not sure. Is it really because I feel like I don’t deserve such an amount of money to be spent on me? Or is it because I’d feel guilty later, if I was to leave him?
I’m so torn about this, yet I realize it’s not such a big deal. But I have issues with money. And so much money to be spent on my appearance… I don’t know. Would that be considered superficial? Smile is important though. And I keep my mouth closed more and more when I do. And I hide my mouth with my hand when I laugh out loud.
It’s weird. I’m very confident, have almost no self-image issues, yet this thing has been bothering me for a while now. I guess I’ll have to make a decision soon.
