Circle Jerk

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I love you dearly, but I must not write to please you right? I must write for me. And as hard as I’ve tried to pull myself out of this fucking hole, I’m still very much in it. And I’ll mope and whine and slather my despair all over my blog. Because that’s how I feel. And writing here is what I need to keep madness from reaching its ultimate goal, which is my mind.

In December L. and I decided to give our relationship a chance. And I’m having a hard time right now. Very hard. I’m still convinced it was the right decision. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to go through with this. I can’t even word it. I just need to say it.

I don’t think it’s going to work out.

What a fucking mess.

I’m looking forward to our trip in Colombia. I think it will be a nice change of pace. Get out of the house, the routine. I want this trip to make or brake things. Something has to happen. I can make it happen. Regardless. I can change my mind, I can admit I was wrong, or that I was right.

As for now, my mind has left the building. I’m running low on gas. I’m not going to give up, but I need to recharge my batteries. What better place than a beach in South America?
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25 thoughts on “Circle Jerk”

  1. DAVE (theendofdave.com) says:

    Beach good! Go forth and vacation ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. Anonymous says:

    Beach good! Go forth and vacation ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. Anonymous says:

    Beach good! Go forth and vacation ๐Ÿ˜€

  4. Anonymous says:

    Beach good! Go forth and vacation ๐Ÿ˜€

  5. Anonymous says:

    Beach good! Go forth and vacation ๐Ÿ˜€

  6. Carmo says:

    just back from a 24 hour birding marathon and it was great. Sorry to see you are feeling looowwww. I hope that Colombia is going to be all that you hope for and more. Try and remain positive for positivity breeds positivity….later

  7. Anonymous says:

    just back from a 24 hour birding marathon and it was great. Sorry to see you are feeling looowwww. I hope that Colombia is going to be all that you hope for and more. Try and remain positive for positivity breeds positivity….later

  8. Anonymous says:

    just back from a 24 hour birding marathon and it was great. Sorry to see you are feeling looowwww. I hope that Colombia is going to be all that you hope for and more. Try and remain positive for positivity breeds positivity….later

  9. Anonymous says:

    just back from a 24 hour birding marathon and it was great. Sorry to see you are feeling looowwww. I hope that Colombia is going to be all that you hope for and more. Try and remain positive for positivity breeds positivity….later

  10. Anonymous says:

    just back from a 24 hour birding marathon and it was great. Sorry to see you are feeling looowwww. I hope that Colombia is going to be all that you hope for and more. Try and remain positive for positivity breeds positivity….later

  11. swan_pr says:

    jeliel: that bad… I know. I need it. thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

    carmo: glad you had a good time. thanks for the thought, it’s very true. I shall now only think of the beach and the drinks!

  12. Anonymous says:

    jeliel: that bad… I know. I need it. thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

    carmo: glad you had a good time. thanks for the thought, it’s very true. I shall now only think of the beach and the drinks!

  13. Anonymous says:

    jeliel: that bad… I know. I need it. thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

    carmo: glad you had a good time. thanks for the thought, it’s very true. I shall now only think of the beach and the drinks!

  14. Anonymous says:

    jeliel: that bad… I know. I need it. thank you :)carmo: glad you had a good time. thanks for the thought, it’s very true. I shall now only think of the beach and the drinks!

  15. Anonymous says:

    jeliel: that bad… I know. I need it. thank you :)carmo: glad you had a good time. thanks for the thought, it’s very true. I shall now only think of the beach and the drinks!

  16. Jacob says:

    Be sure to get something that comes in half a coconut and contains twelve different fruits.

    Contentment comes in the form of a coconut shaped like a monkey filled with twelve fruits.

  17. Anonymous says:

    Be sure to get something that comes in half a coconut and contains twelve different fruits.

    Contentment comes in the form of a coconut shaped like a monkey filled with twelve fruits.

  18. Anonymous says:

    Be sure to get something that comes in half a coconut and contains twelve different fruits.

    Contentment comes in the form of a coconut shaped like a monkey filled with twelve fruits.

  19. Anonymous says:

    Be sure to get something that comes in half a coconut and contains twelve different fruits.Contentment comes in the form of a coconut shaped like a monkey filled with twelve fruits.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Be sure to get something that comes in half a coconut and contains twelve different fruits.Contentment comes in the form of a coconut shaped like a monkey filled with twelve fruits.

  21. swan_pr says:

    jacob: just thinking about it makes me smile! refreshing and entertaining… contentment it has to bring ๐Ÿ™‚ thank you.

  22. Anonymous says:

    jacob: just thinking about it makes me smile! refreshing and entertaining… contentment it has to bring ๐Ÿ™‚ thank you.

  23. Anonymous says:

    jacob: just thinking about it makes me smile! refreshing and entertaining… contentment it has to bring ๐Ÿ™‚ thank you.

  24. Anonymous says:

    jacob: just thinking about it makes me smile! refreshing and entertaining… contentment it has to bring ๐Ÿ™‚ thank you.

  25. Anonymous says:

    jacob: just thinking about it makes me smile! refreshing and entertaining… contentment it has to bring ๐Ÿ™‚ thank you.

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