Ohhh things are piling up again. Avoid looking at the clock, that helps. No matter how much I know, understand, I manage to fuck up good once in a while. I wonder if it isn’t intentionally. Some way to cling to… what? It’s just stupid and doesn’t make any kind of sense. Being good should be simple, according to every single tv show I watch. I should be ashamed, no? Shame. Ugly, ugly word. Belly cramps word.
There is no comfort. No respite. No reason. I live my life like I’m trying to get out of freezing water. Numb yet hurting. Out of breath.
The moment. It is now. I remind myself everyday. Now is the time to live.
I can’t escape. Not because there is no way out.
Because I belong here.
yes you do.
Being good is SIMPLE but never EASY. You just work at it continuously. It doesn’t you succeed all the time. But after time and effort you become better at it. Its why Buddhists call it PRACTICE, because with practice comes perfection. =)
face: thank you, you know you\’re welcome here, anytime.
dave: sometimes PRACTICE sounds like WORK… ughhh. 😉
Hey Swan, love your new site. I relate to your reasons for it. I have taken some personal stuff off my site, censoring myself. I feel uncomfortable with that but there you go. I’ve set up another site where I may put the personal stuff when I have time. PMS is about to roll around for me too – another dark and scary week. 🙂
Wow, nice place you’ve got here. Nice furniture, great kitchen, cool.
I’ll blogroll your new digs tomorrow;)
leigh: thank you 🙂 yes, PMS… I try to use it and draw some inspiration from it. at least it makes me creative! hopefully I won’t end up censoring myself. my goal is mostly to be more open about my writing to one person only. the only one that really matters. thank you for your visit, always nice to have you here 🙂
chris: thank you very much! still working on it. I’m trying to find a way to incorporate my bloglines blogroll here as fast as possible! will drop in on you too, to let you know when it’s done. still looking for that new template?