Full moon gone. Danced away with my good mood. Sometimes I give it up easily, sometimes I hang on to it.
This is a new one. A remake where they changed not only the cast, but the ending as well.
A fucking fit of depression. Another one of self loathing. My own resilience put to the test. I'm pulled apart. Ripped. Spread.
But I can't go in. I can't dive. I float and look and helplessness is not even beggining to explain.
Or maybe I'm just at the bottom, finally.
It's fucking dark in here.
‘It’s fucking dark in here’
tell me about it.
My compassion is broken now. My will is eroded,
and my desire stolen and it makes me feel ugly.
I’m on my knees and burning.
My piss and moans are the fuel that set my head on fire.
So smell my soul burning.
I’m broken, looking up to see the enemy.
I have swallowed the poison you feed me …
but I survive on it,
and it leaves me guilt fed, hatred fed, weakness fed..
and I feel ugly, and dead inside.
Shit adds up at the bottom.
You’ve left me no choice but to go inside and rebuild
what’s broken.
Too much, too far, too late to lie down now.
I must arm myself to fight you
by making weapons out of my imperfections.
It’s all I have left.
There’s no other choice.
I’m shameless, nameless, nothing, and noone now.
But my soul must be iron for my fear is naked.
I’m naked and fearless.
But I’m dead inside.
You see.. shit adds up, now I’m dead inside.
Hatred, weakness, and guilt keep me alive
at the bottom.
It made me think of this song.
Must be a power shortage because it’s fuckin’ dark here too!
common Girls, let’s have a dark celebration together, offering our flesh and blood to the Devil, fucking devil we can’t always assume but can’t live without neither.
a fucking fit of despression? I’d prefer a fit of fucking.
Your raw words and penetrating throughts sometimes amaze me, sometimes scare me. You have a beautiful mind.
Chris
My Blog
face: funny how we can still find our way.
dave: I’ll admit I had to google this… then went illegal. damn. yes. thank you so much.
bibi: maybe we only have our eyes closed… I wonder sometimes. created darkness… avoidance?
j-julie: I’d ask the devil to marry me if he were not such an asshole. but I’m willing for the party!
chris: yeah, well, me too, but things don’t always go that way. you being here is always a gift. thank you 🙂
Il y a une expression française qui dit:
“Dans le fond” à quoi on ajoute le plus souvent, “c’est mieux comme ça”, ou “c’est pas si mal”. Si on la prononce après vous avoir lue,
“Dans l’fond (oralement on dit l’fond)c’est pas si mal”… on se rend compte du ridicule de certaines expression.
Votre texte aussi is dark, et touchant indeed.
Harry Steed
harry: dans l’fond, il se passe plein de choses. dans l’fond, on peut s’y perdre, tellement c’est vaste. mais dans l’fond on sait aussi qu’on ne peut que remonter. merci.