When I started to write here, I was no one. I wasn't dead, but not alive. Throught the years though, I've always been swan_pr. That's not really another me. In my mIRC days I was Valhalla. Then swansong. Then swan_pr, since 1998. But I have been others as well.
This weekend I will delete my myspace page, even though it's a swan_pr space. I don't need it, don't use it. And my old hotmail accounts sporting my other me's.
I will keep my platform27 account, but will not post new things there either. Things I have been posting there are me as well, and I don't see the point in putting them anywhere but here, even though it's a bit different from my usual stuff. It's another form of expression, but still very much who I am.
People who have met me outside of this blog know that I am not different, not a character, not just a nickname. I don't have to step out of character in my every day life. Here and there, I am whole. Keeping separate pages and nicknames have done nothing good, nor bad. It hasn't brought me anything at all.
The one person I am here, I've always been inside. But only in the last year have I let myself accept my true nature and show it to the people that have known me from before I started this blog. Most of them have welcomed my new found peace with myself. Some still wonder who the hell am I.
I don't care. I don't feel the need to separate online and offline anymore.
…and the earth becomes my throne
I adapt to the unknown
Under wandering stars I've grown
By myself but not alone
I ask no one
…and my ties are severed clean
The less I have the more I gain
Off the beaten path I reign
Rover wanderer
Nomad vagabond
Call me what you will
But I'll take my time anywhere
I'm free to speak my mind anywhere
And I'll never mind anywhere
Anywhere I may roam
Where I lay my head is home
-Wherever I May Roam (Hetfield/Ulrich)
“Carved upon my stone, my body lies but still I roam.”
If I get a tomb stone, that WILL be carved upon my stone. 😀
Theres no point in being anything but yourself, if not more yourself, the need for a mask is diminished here in the blogosphere.
Now I feel like cranking up some ‘tallica…. damn you 😛
virtual distance and anonymity can become a mask, an exaggerated version of yourself, the good sides and the bad sides. some people do get trapped in there. that inspired me to stay true and just bring everything together.
that’s a good dammed!