Standing in the middle of the office today, amidst the cubicles, looking at that loser hooking up a plastic santa to her partition… I just lost it…
-You know, I fucking hate Christmas.
-Why do you say that?
-Because I fucking hate it, everything about it.
-Nahhh you don’t really mean that!
-It’s all shit to me. All that spending is shit, shopping for gifts is shit, dressing up for people you hate is shit, driving in the snow to eat food that will make you sick is shit and quite frankly all these decorations around here are shit!
Blank stares…
-You have quite an attitude today… pmsing?
-No, I am ovulating… which is sometimes worst than pmsing.
-Really? That’s interesting
-I just realized that today is my most fertile day of the month… Now, were I looking to procreate, who the hell would want to fuck me today?
Blank stares…
Being female is a bitch.
One day I was in a mood because I was hurting and my husband asked me in if I was pmsing and I told him, Yes, my egg is slowly being ripped from my uterine wall, how would you like me to rip your head from your neck?
And somehow they manage to make us feel guilty about it. Like they shut up whenever they hurt… Like they don’t have a temper when their team is losing… errr sorry about that one 😉