An Unexamined Life…

Samsonnesse

June13

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Today I’m having my hair cut. At 4.30pm I will sit in the hairdresser’s chair for the first time in three years.

It’s very long, down to my waiste, curly, dark brown with red and copper natural highlights and some gray… I wear it up half the time. But when it’s down, it’s a powerful thing. When I wear low rise jeans with a short top I feel it on my skin, right above my butt. When I’m naked, I love the feeling against my back. I use it as a tool, for my many trades. It gives me composure. Something to do with my hands when I’m nervous, deflect tension during a conversation, comfort me when I’m insecure.

The longer it got, the more important it became. A part of who I was and a part of who I’ve become.

Now I’m growing more nervous as the day goes by. Because my impulse is to tell the girl to just trim the ends… But no. I’m going to bring out a whole person out of this. The last string attached to a past I’ve been trying to settle.

Some people tell me, “Come on! It’s only hair!” Heeemmmm, no. It’s not.

I’ll go pass out now.

EDIT…

Ok, I survived.
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posted under Uncategorized
10 Comments to

“Samsonnesse”

  1. On June 13th, 2006 at 3:31 pm Anonymous Says:

    good luck I know how scary that can feel….

  2. On June 13th, 2006 at 3:53 pm bibi Says:

    Oh no, it’s not “just” hair. I used to have really long hair too and oh My! it’s a rrrreal pleasure to feel your hair tickeling your butt when you’re riding a man, with your back a bit arched.

    I sooo understand your attachment to your hair.

    Almost a year ago, I decided to cut them. Not short, but I cut them approx. at my shoulder blades. I felt sexy like hell with that new hairdo, confident like 10 me, etc.

    You might even feel free. Of what? Who knows and who cares, as long as it makes YOU happy.

  3. On June 13th, 2006 at 4:20 pm Crunchy Weta Says:

    Just dont be surprised if you jump at the sight of your own shadow!

  4. On June 13th, 2006 at 8:54 pm Dave Says:

    It is just hair. I had long hair before and shaved it all off one day about 13 years ago and have been a crome dome ever since.

    I’m not saying a shave, just saying it’s no big deal. It grows back

  5. On June 13th, 2006 at 9:28 pm Le numérologue Says:

    juste un petit coucou pour te dire bonjour !!! J’ai pas le temps de venir te voir, je suis débordé !!!!

    Bye bye !!!! à la prochaine !!!

  6. On June 13th, 2006 at 10:21 pm swan_pr Says:

    anonymous: thank you… how was it afterwards? how did you feel about your fears?

    bibi: you’re right. I didn’t go as short though… but I can already feel the change… and the looks… :)
    weta: yeah… I guess there is no way to get rid of “her”…

    dave: grrrrr. damn. you’re right too :p

    numérologue: t’es gentil :) t’es toujours le bienvenu!

  7. On June 13th, 2006 at 10:27 pm Veronica Says:

    I did the same thing recently. Maybe it was in the air.

    I like feeling connected.

  8. On June 14th, 2006 at 1:32 am swan_pr Says:

    veronica: indeed. such a feeling deserves to be nurtured.

  9. On June 14th, 2006 at 5:20 pm harry steed Says:

    Je m’amuse à un truc quand j’ouvre votre blog depuis que j’ai lu ce texte. J’essaie d’imaginer sans la frange! Etait-ce vraiment une bonne idée ce coiffeur?

    Harry Steed

  10. On June 14th, 2006 at 5:26 pm swan_pr Says:

    harry: oui, finalement. je prendrais une photo du même angle aujourd’hui, vous n’y verriez aucune différence. j’ai opté pour la sécurité… pour l’instant. le changement, c’est pas pour tout de suite après tout. une chose à la fois.

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